


In A New Light

by shamelesscaptainswanshipper



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3276998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelesscaptainswanshipper/pseuds/shamelesscaptainswanshipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The four Pevensies must go through the door back to their own world to prove to the Telmarines that it is safe to pass through. While no one is exactly pleased by this Susan and surprisingly Caspian seem reluctant to part ways. Will Susan go back to England with her siblings or will she stay in Narnia with Caspian?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In A New Light

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago. This is still to this day the longest fan fiction one-shot I have ever written. Like so many others I loved the Susan/Caspian romance in the 2nd Narnia movie and I so wished for it to have ended differently. I hope you'll like this. I took some elements from the books as well as the movie but you don't have to have read the books to read this. Since this is an old story that is quite long I haven't edited it so there are a few spelling- and grammar mistakes but nothing major. I just wanted to see what kind of reception the story would get on this site since it was originally posted on fanfiction(dot)net and later translated into German for the German fanfiktion(dot)de.

Caspian walked slowly down the stone steps, which were leading down to the courtyard. The sun was shining over the telmarine castle, the sky was light blue and with no clouds and the birds were twittering, singing their happy song. Caspian thought he had never experiences such a lovely morning before, it was like nature showing its joy to everyone. He had a feeling of being in the middle of a paradise. He felt how the rays of the sun were caressing his face. He let out a sigh. He walked alongside the bushes, enjoying taking in the fresh summer air. He felt the cool breeze brush his face. The birds' morning song was so beautiful that he couldn't remember to have heard a more beautiful song.

He gazed back at the castle, the telmarine castle, the castle, which was now his, the castle he had been living in his whole life. But it looked different. It was strange, because it wasn't rebuild, painted or different in any other thinkable way. Still, it was, to Caspian, like something had changed. Before, when his uncle had lived there, the castle had always seemed a bit frightening. It had reminded him of those pictures from dr. Cornelius' fairytale books, where evil kings and lords were ruling. Each time Caspian had fantasized about them, images of the telmarine castle had always appeared in his head. He imagined how evil kings and lords were standing at their balcony, yelling out to the people, in his own home. It was scary. Some times, when he had been younger, he had often been lying in his bed, unable to sleep, and imagined ghosts, evil spirits and kings walk around in his castle. Often, he let his imagination run away with him and got scared, too scared to fall asleep. When he grew older, he no longer fantasized and stopped believing in fairytales. He grew up and became a reasonable young man.

Surely you can understand that Caspian got quite a shock, when his tutor told him that some of the fairytales were actually real. His uncle, Miraz, had made him believe that the stories about old Narnia were nothing but rubbish and he later forbade Caspian to ever mention the subject again. But now Caspian knew that the Old Narnians were real, and he was happy that everything would soon be back to normal and that they would have their land back. It wasn't until now the castle had stopped seeming scary. It wasn't until now it had started to feel welcoming and homely. Now when Narnia was at peace again, and the birds started to sing and fly over the sky, Caspian saw the castle in a whole new light.

Caspian was walking around in the courtyard, enjoying the breeze and the caress of the sunray. It wasn't the first time he had experienced good weather in Narnia, but he had never really had the time to enjoy it. It wasn't until now Caspian started to really notice the beauty of Narnia. Before, when his uncle, Miraz, was king, he had had so many other things to think about, and he had, back then, when he was a child, been more like an in-door-boy, and there really hadn't been so much to do outside either. Of course he had spent a few hours a day outside the castle, he was a prince, after all, and he had to learn both sword fighting and horseback riding.

Now when Miraz's time as a king was over, Caspian had given himself some time to explore Narnia. It was like seeing a new world, the clear blue sky, the wide, open meadows, and the blooming apple trees, it was something, Caspian hadn't had time to admire before. Now when he had the chance he was enjoying every glimpse of it.

When he got closer to the opposite end of the courtyard he noticed that he was not alone. A few feet away from him, three familiar shapes were walking. One of them was Susan. She was wearing a pretty blue dress with cream sleeves. Her dark hair was curled, hang lose and reached, almost, down to her elbows. Her pale face was smooth and beautiful, and Caspian thought that she looked somehow different. She looked more mature – almost like a grownup woman

Aslan was walking beside her. He said something that Caspian was unable to hear in despite of the short distance between them.

On Aslan's other side was Peter, who was wearing a blue outfit. He was a bit harder to see because he was hidden in the shadows. Caspian heard Peter say something in response. Caspian didn't hear what he said; again his attention was turned towards Susan. Caspian couldn't recall to have ever seen a more beautiful woman. Her beauty was beyond his imagination. Even if he hadn't fantasized that much about girls, he had often imagined what the pretty princesses from his fairytale books looked like. He had never seen a real princess and didn't know, for that reason, how a beautiful princess looked like, but now he knew how a beautiful queen looked like.

"Your Majesty?"

Caspian, who had been so busy with staring at Susan, that he completely forgot everything else around him, gave a jump; it was Aslan who had spoken. Caspian sent them a slight smile. He hoped that Aslan hadn't noticed how he was looking at Susan. But Caspian thought that Aslan was aware of his feelings towards Susan. That lion was wiser than any other 'person' he had ever met. Aslan gave him a smile in return.

Caspian stared at the lion, waiting for someone to say something, but when none of them, apparently, was going to say anything, he said: "We are ready. Everyone is outside there, waiting".

"Very well," Aslan said and nodded.

Caspian now turned his gaze back towards Susan, and for a short moment their eyes met.

Caspian was a bit frightened by the sight of all the telmarines that were present. He hadn't expected that so many would accept the offer about going home, but something told him that there between those present were people who didn't trust him or Aslan. The Telmarines had always hated the Narnians, he knew that, and he also knew how suspicious they could be. He was a little afraid that they wouldn't accept him as their king after everything that had happened. He didn't like being hated by anybody. When he had lived, Miraz had made it look like Caspian was the enemy instead of himself and there had to be people who were still loyal towards Miraz. Caspian still doubted if he really was ready to be the king. If anybody had asked him he would have said no, but Aslan had assured him that he was indeed ready. Caspian trusted Aslan and his judgment and had without hesitation taken the throne.

Caspian cleared his throat and everything went silent.

"Dear Telmarines..." he got sure that he had everyone's attention before he continued. "Narnia will belong to the animals once again; it will be a peaceful country where animals and human can live together in harmony. Those of you who are willing to live here under those new circumstances are more than welcome. But those of you who cannot accept this will be sent home by Aslan".

Silence reigned between the gatherings for a moment.

"But it had been generations since we left Telmar," one yelled and others murmured something unintelligible to each other.

"We are not talking about Telmar," Aslan, who had been standing next to Caspian, said. "Your ancestors came to Telmar centuries ago from another world, the same world as our kings and queens actually".

Again the silence reigned and even Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy exchanged surprised glances. This information also startled Caspian. He had lived in Narnia his whole life, but he had known that his ancestors had come there from another country named Telmar, but that they had come to Telmar from yet another country was beyond his imagination

"Surprised, Your Majesty?" asked Aslan. "You should have known, Caspian that only a son of Adam would be able to call himself king of Narnia. And you are one."

Caspian nodded.

Then Aslan turned to the Telmarines. "Your ancestors were pirates, who were stranded on a deserted island very long ago. They killed the native and made the native women their wives. The men made wine of the palms, got drunk and sometimes killed each other. They fought, and it was under one of those fights that six men fled with their women into what they assumed was a cave. Actually it was one of those few places, which connected their world with this. That was how they came to the land Telmar, which back then was uninhabited. In time their descendants became built a strong and proud nation and it remained that way for generations. Until en famine came in Telmar. At that time there was confusion and disharmony in Narnia..."

Caspian looked over at Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. They didn't look happy and Caspian thought he could see guilt displayed on their faces. Caspian knew that they more than thousand years back had ruled Narnia and that they, acording to the fairytale books, suddenly disappeared. He guessed that they disappeared short before the Telmarines invaded Narnia.

"So they invaded Narnia and killed most of the Narnians," Aslan continued.

There was a long pause where no one said anything.

Then Aslan continued: "Nobody lives on the island anymore, the people who lived on it died out long ago. There are lagoons med fresh fish, fountains with clear water and lots of timber that you can build your houses of, a good place to start anew".

One could hear how the Telmarines whispered and discussed with each other and that was how it remained for a long time. Aslan and the Kings and Queens were standing and watching, awaiting answers. When the Temarines finally stopped discussing there was silence among the gathering.

Nobody said anything for a long time.

Suddenly one of the Telmarines stepped forth. It was Glozelle, the former general. "I'll accept the offer," he said. Caspian sent him an acknowledging nod and Glozelle nodded in return.

There was a moment's silence. Then Prunaprismia, Caspian's aunt stepped forth with her father. In her arms she carried her little son. Caspian felt sorry for him, for having a father like Miraz. He knew his aunt was not like Miraz, and due to that fact he didn't hate her, well not as much as he had hated Miraz, and he didn't doubt that she was a good mother.

"We will also accept the offer," said Prunaprismia. Caspian gave her a nod as well and she went to stand next to Glozelle.

"Because you were the first ones to step forth your future on the island will be happy," said Aslan. Then he nodded in the direction of two pillars, which were risen with a third pillar across the two other ones so they formed a door. They nodded and went through it. In the second they went through they disappeared with no sign of them left. The Telmarines gasped and cast frightened glances at the door.

"Are there any others who will accept the offer?" Caspian asked in an awaiting tone.

Again the sound of the Telmarines discussing with each other echoed in the yard. It took a while before the discussions came to an end.

"How can we know this is not a trap," one yelled. "I don't trust him," yelled another. More murmured something unintelligible. Then Reepicheep stepped forth and all eyes soon rested on the tiny mouse.

"My Liege, if it is your wish then I and eleven other mice will go through the door without hesitation," he said.

Aslan smiled. That mouse was indeed noble.

Suddenly Peter stepped forth. "No," he said. "My siblings and I will go".

Everybody, even his siblings, stared at him in surprise.

"What do you mean?" Edmund asked irritated, "why?"

"Come on?" said Peter, "it's time".

Caspian lowered his gaze. A moment ago he had been overjoyed that Narnia would become a free country again, but now he felt the opposite. Why should he lose Susan now? He had so sincerely hoped that the Kings and Queens of Old would stay in Narnia this time; he had so sincerely hoped that Susan would become his Queen, or actually she was Queen but not his Queen.

Susan sent Peter a nod. "We better change," said Peter. "It would look strange if we boarded the train looking like this". His siblings nodded. They then disappeared into the courtyard in between some bushes.

Caspian sighed. "Would you excuse me for a moment?" he asked Aslan. Aslan smiled and nodded, completely aware of what Caspian was up to.

It didn't take long for Caspian to catch up with the Pevensies. Peter, who had heard Caspian's running steps, turned around.

"Caspian," he said, "what a pleasure?" Peter's siblings turned around as well. A weak smile appeared on Susan's lips, and that made Caspian smile as well.

Caspian didn't know what to say, he had no idea where to begin. He didn't know how to put it. He let out a sigh. "May I have a word with Queen Susan please?"

Peter smiled and then nodded. Susan followed Caspian to an apple tree in the other end of the courtyard. Caspian turned his gaze towards Peter, Edmund and Lucy - who were standing somewhere between the bushes - to be sure no one could hear him. Then he turned his gaze back towards Susan. Susan could see, by the serious look in his eyes, that he wanted to say something important. He didn't look so happy either; his smile had disappeared. And she felt the same way. She and her siblings had made good friends with Caspian, for her he was more than that, and she didn't like the thought of leaving Narnia either. But Susan knew, like her older brother, that they couldn't stay in Narnia forever. They couldn't forget about their life in England. Susan wanted to cry, she really cared about Caspian and she didn't wish to leave him.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Susan said and forced her lips into a smile. Caspian nodded. "Yes, My Queen," he said. "There is something I need to tell you". Susan nodded. "Just call me Susan". Caspian nodded. "Thank you, My Queen". Susan raised her eyebrows. "Sorry. Susan," said Caspian, and yet another weak smile appeared on his lips and the same thing happened to Susan.

"When will you return," Caspian asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Caspian, we are not coming back," Susan said, sorrowful. "We do not belong to this world, we have a family to return to".

Caspian nodded. "I understand," he said. "Of course you should return to your family, they need you". Susan could hear the sadness in his voice, and she too was sad, but unlike Caspian she had known, the entire time, that she wouldn't stay in Narnia forever, but Caspian looked so disappointed, he couldn't have known.

"Caspian I really want to stay," Susan said. "But I can't leave my family". Caspian nodded, understanding. "It is your choice My Queen," he said; his gaze turned towards the wall and not her. Susan smiled. "Caspian look at me," she said gently. Caspian obeyed and looked her in the eyes. Caspian let a tear fall down his cheek. Susan stroke it away with her thumb. "It will be alright," she said. Caspian shook his head, blinked a few times to get the tears away. "It's just because," he said, now his voice was almost thick, "I care so much for you, I... I love you".

Susan got very touched by his last three words. A boy had never told her anything like that. She blushed. Caspian was even more romantic than she had imagined him to be. She fell for him the very second their eyes met in the forest about three weeks ago. He had everything. He was tall, manly and gorgeous, had a cute accent, and was charming and very sweet. Susan had hoped that he would tell her something like that because she felt the same way. "Caspian," she said, giving him a smile he couldn't do anything but return, "I love you too".

Silence. None of them said a word; they were just standing there looking each other in the eyes. They were standing like this for a long time, with no need for words to know what the other one was thinking

Susan's blue eyes were shining and Caspian couldn't take his own eyes away from them. They reminded him of blue sapphires. It wasn't just her eyes, everything about her was beautiful and Caspian would be able to look at her for days and not getting tired of it.

It was Susan who broke the silence. "I think I better go back to the others, I need to change," she said. Caspian was hurt; he didn't wish to let go of her, not now, when they had finally expressed their feelings for each other.

"It can wait?" he said, hopeful. But Susan shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said and touched his cheek gently. Then she turned away from him. She started to walk towards the bushes, where her siblings were hiding, changing into their school uniforms, but she froze a few feet away. She turned around and ran towards Caspian. She put her hand around his neck and pressed her lips against his. His lips were soft, almost impossible to break apart from, but after a few seconds she pulled away. Caspian embraced her, holding her close to him. He pulled her so close that Susan almost lost her breath. Susan put her arms around him. None of them wanted to break apart. But after a few minutes they did. Their eyes met and for a short moment they just stood there, looking each other in the eyes. Then Susan started to take a few steps back and then she turned around and ran towards the place she knew her siblings were.

Left was Caspian, just standing there, looking after her, with a hurt look on his face and tears starting to roll down his cheeks but this time he didn't do anything to stop them.

"Are you crying, Su?" asked Peter, worried, and put an arm around his sister. Susan shook her head but Peter could see that she was crying. Peter slowly started to stroke her bag. "Come on Su," he said gently, "what happened?"

Susan tried to control herself but suddenly she burst into tear. Lucy and Edmund looked at her with shocked expressions.

All four of them sat down.

"He... he..." Susan sobbed and buried her face in her big brother's chest. "Easy Su," Peter said, trying to comfort her, "now tell us, what is it with Caspian? Did he hurt you?"

Susan pulled away from Peter. "No," she said. "How can you even think something like that?"

Peter looked at her, ashamed. That was not how he had meant it.

"I'm sorry Su," he said.

Susan nodded, telling him she accepted his apology.

"But Susan," said Lucy, "then what is the matter with him?"

Susan looked down. "He," she began, unable to look any of them in the eyes; "he said he loved me". Susan once again burst into tears. Peter once again pulled her close and Susan's head once again rested on his chest. Peter's coat was starting to get really wet with Susan's tears but right now he couldn't care less.

"But Susan," Lucy exclaimed, "that's not so bad that's wonderful. Then what did you tell him? Did you tell hi that you loved hi back?"

Susan was still crying but she succeeded in giving Lucy a slight nod.

Lucy clapped in her hands with joy. "But Susan that's wonderful, I'm so happy for you," she said.

"You seem to have forgotten one thing, Lu," said Edmund. "We are about to go home she can't be with him".

That made Susan cry even more and Lucy bowed her head. Peter gave Edmund a reproaching glare. "What?" Edmund asked. "It's true".

"Not necessarily," said Peter. That made Susan rise up. "What... what do you mean, Peter?" she asked in confusion.

Peter looked into his sister's eyes. "You don't have to go with us, Su," he said.

Susan was sure she had heard wrong. Her brother wanted her to stay in Narnia? It took some time for her to assure herself she wasn't just hearing things. She could see by the look on her brother's face that he meant it.

"It is alright, Su," Peter said. "We'll be okay".

"But," said Susan, who had finally stopped crying, "I can't do that".

Peter put his hand on his sister's shoulder. "Do it, Su". But Susan shook her head. "No," she said, "I can't leave you".

"I think you should do it," Edmund said. His sentence startled the others. Of all four of them Edmund was the one who cared the least about love. Susan smiled. "Oh Ed," she said and a tear ran down her cheek. Peter too smiled at his little brother. "Ed is right, Su," he said, "follow your heart, you know you want to stay".

Susan looked from Edmund to Peter and then to Edmund again and then at Lucy. Lucy nodded. "Don't worry about us," she said, "we can handle it".

"You must not let us prevent you from being with the one you love," said Edmund, "maybe we can visit, we'll ask Aslan".

"Oh, you really mean that?" asked Susan, whose eyes shined with joy. All three of them nodded. Susan's eyes were blank with tears of joy and she hugged Peter. After that she hugged Edmund and then Lucy. And then they all ended in a group hug. They embraced for long and nobody said a thing. Susan still had tears in her eyes.

Edmund was the one who broke the silence. "Well," he said, "maybe we should go back to the others now". The others nodded. They let their fine clothes behind, (except Susan of course, she didn't need to change).

Caspian was standing, waiting for the Pevensies to come back. He was fighting to hold the tears back. When Susan had left, he had let the tears run and he had cried for almost ten minutes. He had been looking after her until she disappeared out of sight. When he had cried himself empty, or so he thought, he had gone back to the gathering. But now the tears were coming back and he used all his strength to hold them back. He turned his gaze at Aslan who was standing next to him. The lion looked deep into his eyes and suddenly Caspian didn't feel like crying anymore.

"I know it is hard, young Caspian," he said, almost whispering it, so only Caspian could hear it. "But you must be strong, you live in a different world, it is faith".

Caspian nodded. After all, he wanted what was best for Susan and he respected her decision, even if he wished she had chosen otherwise. But time heals all wounds, as one used to say.

"Here they come," said Aslan. Caspian, who in the mean time had been turning his back to the courtyard, staring at the door his aunt and the general had went through and which his love in a minute also would disappear through, turned around. There they came. Peter and Susan were in the front, and Edmund and Lucy walked behind them.

Edmund, Peter and Lucy were wearing some very odd outfits; which Caspian had never seen before. "It must be how clothes look like in their world," he thought to himself. But wait? Susan was still wearing the same blue dress. Why hadn't she changed like the others? Had she changed her mind? Had she decided to stay anyway? Or maybe she just lost her clothes, he thought. Why in the world would she change her mind now anyway? "No," he thought, "she probably just lost her clothes somewhere".

The Telmarines who had been busy discussing with each other fell immediately silent by the look of the Pevensies. Though then some of the cruelest started to laugh as they studied their strange outfits. They didn't seem to care or notice. They just went straight pass them and continued their way to Aslan who along with Caspian greeted them warmly.

"We are ready," Peter told Aslan. Aslan gave him a smile. Then he turned to Susan who was standing behind Peter. "Queen Susan I see that Thee are not dressed to travel".

Susan shook her head. Aslan sent her a questioning look. Susan sighed. "I...," she stuttered.

Caspian couldn't take his eyes off her, she was so sweet when she stuttered, he felt the urge to run to her and throw his arms around her.

"I am not coming with hem," Susan finally said.

That made Caspian look up. He opened his mouth to ask why but nothing came out. Some of the Narnians exchanged surprised glances while some of the Telmarines started to whisper among them. The only one who was not surprised was Aslan. Aslan smiled warmly at Susan.

"My dear Susan," he said and everyone around him fell silent. "You have learned a lot here," then he turned to Lucy, Edmund and Peter, "...all of you have, but you," he turned toward Susan again, "...you have learned something more powerful than anything, you have learned what true love is all about". He gave Caspian a smile.

Susan nodded and made a curtsy to the great lion. Then Aslan turned toward the three other Pevensies. "What do you say, King Peter?"

Peter nodded.

Then he looked at Edmund and Lucy who nodded as well. Then he nodded towards the door and Peter nodded. "But first," he said, "there is something which needs to be taken care of," "...if I may?" he added.

Aslan nodded.

Peter went Caspian, who had been watching them while they spoke to Aslan. "Here," he said and handed Caspian his sword.

Caspian just stared at it and then at Peter.

"Take it," said Peter, "it belongs to you now".

Caspian shook his head. "I can't take that," he said, "that is the sword of the High King, it belongs to you".

But Peter shook his head. "No," he said, "you are the High King now, there where I am heading I am not going to need it".

Caspian nodded, understanding, and accepted the sword. "I will guard it with my life I promise," he said.

Peter nodded. "I know you will".

Then he turned to Susan and embraced her in a close hug. "Goodbye dear sister," said Peter, "I hope you will be happy here". Then he turned to Caspian again. "Keep my sister happy, take care of her I know you love her".

"More than you can ever imagine," Caspian said. "I promise to protect her, I will let no harm get to her".

Peter patted him on the shoulder. "Goodbye... brother". The last word came out in a whisper so only Caspian could hear it. Caspian smiled and grinned at the same time. "The same to you".

Then Peter returned to his siblings. Lucy and Susan were in the middle of a big hug and the two sisters looked like they never wanted to let go of one another again. Both had tears in their eyes but they had smiles on their lips as well.

When Susan and Lucy finally had pulled away it was Edmund's turn. "Well, I guess this is goodbye," he said and Susan nodded. She had a smile on her lips but her eyes held nothing but sorrow. Susan didn't want to leave her family, she loved them so much, and even though she preferred Narnia instead of London there was a part of her, which wanted to go with them.

Susan pulled Edmund close into a hug and Edmund snuggled into his Sister's embrace. The sight of them reminded of when a little boy hugged his mother.

After what felt like hours brother and sister pulled away. Susan looked hurt and one could swear she could burst into tear any second. The sight of Susan hurt Caspian and he wished he could go to her and hold her but he knew he shouldn't. This was a sibling moment, which one should better not disturb. Instead he would have to watch while Susan, with tear in her eyes, said goodbye to her siblings.

"Oh no Susan don't cry," said Lucy even if she was about to burst out in tears herself. "It will be all right you will be so happy here and don't worry about us we can handle it".

Actually Lucy was doubting, deep inside, if they would ever manage to handle life without Susan, but of course she didn't tell Susan otherwise she was afraid Susan might change her mind, and nor she, Edmund or Peter wanted that to happen. The three of them knew that Susan would have a happy future with Caspian and that they, no matter how much they would miss Susan, should be happy for her.

Peter turned to Susan. "You will be okay," he assured her and pulled her into a hug. "Just be strong and focus on the good times ahead. Think about all those children you and Caspian will have and of the peace you have helped make and just be strong, okay?" Peter's voice sounded a bit thick. Susan pulled away to get a look at his face. Down his cheeks were streaming tears and occasionally he was sniffing.

Susan had never seen her big brother act like that. He head always been the strongest, the bravest, the most caring, but now he was standing there in front of her, broken and with tears streaming down his face. That made her feel helpless. If not even he could remain strong enough to get through this then who could?

After what felt like half an hour, but which was actually just a single minute, they pulled away. Peter sniffed occasionally and tried to force a smile, but he didn't succeed in making it look as real as he wanted to. He gently patted Susan on the shoulder and looked deep into her eyes. Then he turned to Lucy and Edmund. He put his hands on their shoulders and led them towards the door.

When they were only inches from it they turned and looked at Susan, who was now standing next to Caspian, watching them. She looked broken but she smiled at them.

Lucy had forced a smile on her lips. She always used to be the sunshine of them all but now the look on her face was serious, and even if her lips were smiling her eyes carried sorrow. Deep inside she was happy for her sister but also unhappy for herself because she would never get to see her sister again, (or that's what she thought back then but we'll return to that later).

Edmund's face was expressionless and very difficult to read. Edmund loved his sister and he cared about Caspian and he was unhappy to leave without Susan but at the same time he was also angry with Peter. Peter was the one who had suggested to go through the door for the Telmarines and that was something Edmund really didn't want to do. "It's not our problem," he had told Peter in an angry tone, so angry that he had scared Lucy (that was when Susan had left with Caspian so she wasn't present). He had yelled several other things at Peter but those things aren't worth mentioning here. He was also a little jealous at Susan because she had gotten to stay in Narnia, while he and Lucy had to go back to England. But even though Edmund didn't really understood love (partly because he didn't wish to understand it), and envied Susan, he was happy for his big sister. He also knew that he shouldn't envy her. She had just found her true love and trying to force her back to England would be unfair, she wouldn't have been able to fit in there ever again, not after all what he had been through recently. Even though he envied Susan and was angry for having to go back to England again he was also happy that Susan would stay in Narnia, he still thought it to be unfair that only she got to stay but he wouldn't have been able to outstand seeing Susan broken in England, that would be even worse than the jealousy he felt right now. That was not what he wished for Susan.

For Peter the thought about leaving Narnia wasn't so hard to handle. When Aslan had told him and Susan that they would never come back to Narnia, he had been disappointed but he soon found out that he was alright with it. He knew he was becoming a man and was too old for fairytales. He knew he had to go back to his own world and live on. In some way he had always known but before the thought had just seemed so unreal. The first time he came to Narnia, he had stayed there so long that he had forgotten all about his own world, and now when he was back he had hoped that he would stay there just as long or maybe even longer. But that was not how it was meant to be.

What was bothering him the most was leaving Susan. He didn't regret letting her stay in Narnia, it was for the best but he still didn't want to leave her. What couldn't happen to her?

Peter shook his head. Now his overprotective brotherly self was taking over again. Actually he didn't doubt for a second that Caspian would do everything in his power to protect her. That boy loved her. She was in good hands. No, actually he had nothing to worry about. Except for the fact that he would miss her so much. How would life be without Susan? He could feel the tears trying to push their way through but he refused to let them escape. Not in front of Susan. If she saw him like this she would just change her mind – he had already cried once – and he didn't wish her to do that. He wanted to take her home with him, he didn't want them to separate, but he would rather have it this way than seeing Susan unhappy.

"Goodbye," he said.

In the moment he said it tears started to form in Susan's eyes and they slowly found their way down her cheeks. That made Lucy want to go over and hug her, but she knew they couldn't postpone their journey anymore. Luckily Caspian put his arms around her and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Some of the Telmarines started to murmur something to each other. They were obviously impatient, how touching this scene might have been.

Peter's eyes met Susan's and after what seemed like seconds but which were actually a whole minute he went through the door and then disappeared from sight. More Telmarines started to murmur to each other. Then Edmund looked at Susan (he had to blink several times because of the tears which were threatening to fall down his cheeks). Susan dried some tears away with the back of her hand and then looked deep into the eyes of her little brother. Then Edmund turned around and went through the door. The last one to go through the door was Lucy. She looked like one who wanted so badly to cry and she did blink several times. She looked once into her sister's eyes; then she turned around and went towards the door. When she was standing right in front of it she turned around and ran towards Susan and threw herself into her arms. She no longer held the tears back. Susan, who was startled by Lucy's sudden actions smiled warmly at her sister and held her close.

"I will miss you," Lucy sobbed.

Susan stroke her hair and said: "Lucy I'm sure we will meet again some day, don't cry we have to be strong if we are to get through this, now go home to the boys before they start to worry".

Lucy nodded and dried her tears with her sleeve while sniffing. Then she turned towards Aslan. "But what will happen at home when Susan is not coming with us?" she asked. "Won't the others wonder where she is? Won't Mom and Dad be worried?"

Aslan smiled at her. "Don't worry," he said. "They won't notice, she will no longer exist in your world".

"What?!" both Lucy and Susan cried. "What do you mean Aslan? What do you mean by no longer exist?"

"For everybody else, there will never have been a Susan Pevensie," said Aslan. "Don't worry," he added to Susan, "your siblings will never forget you, you will always be in their hearts as they will always be in yours".

Lucy hugged Susan one last time before turning towards the door and disappearing through it.

Susan burst into tears and buried her face in Caspian's chest. Caspian could do nothing but hold her for he knew no words that could comfort her at this moment.

The telmarines were discussing something. Speaking loudly, all at once, and it was impossible for Caspian to hear what they were saying but he didn't care.

"Silence!" He yelled and the telmarines stopped talking, immediately.

"I think we have seen enough proof, it is safe to go true," he said.

It wasn't the words he would have used, they made it seem more like a command and not an offer, but right now he was tired of the telmarines; it was their fault Susan's siblings had gone true the door, and he was really mad at them. Susan was still crying and she looked more broken than he had ever seen her before.

"Those of you who want to go true, do it NOW!"

Again the telmarines started discussing with each other but after about five minutes some of them stepped towards the door. Later more and more joined them. In the end all the telmarines were gathered in front of the door and one by one they went through it.


End file.
